


Resoundless Echo

by wolfdogmcu



Series: Yelenat [1]
Category: Black Widow (Comics), Black Widow (Movie 2020), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon Compliant, EG compliant, Experimental, F/F, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, eulogy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:53:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23119534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfdogmcu/pseuds/wolfdogmcu
Summary: "They told us you sacrificed yourself. They told us that without you, we wouldn't have been un-blipped."Yelena gets a few things off of her mind.
Relationships: Yelena Belova/Natasha Romanov
Series: Yelenat [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1661827
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Resoundless Echo

"You know, when they told me you were gone, I didn't believe them. These strangers - they came to see us. Clint came too. They told us you sacrificed yourself. They told us that without you, we wouldn't have been un-blipped."

"Melina told me to bring flowers. She said it was respectful. But I knew you, Natalia. I know your cynicism. You probably wouldn’t have seen much point in it. Perhaps for others, but not yourself.”

“You  _ did _ take flowers to her grave. I don't think you knew I was there - if you did, you didn’t let that on. You knew I was following you around that time and everything but... I don't know if you knew _ I  _ knew who she was."

"I'm rambling, I'm sorry. But I brought you the flowers, you can see that. Can you? I don't understand how this all works. You told me death is permanent - that ghosts are no real thing. Once you're gone, you're gone. That's it. So I guess you can't. This whole tirade isn't worth much."

"Do you remember what you told me? That I don’t want to be you. That this isn’t a good life. That you weren’t someone to imitate. You even made it sound like I should hold you in contempt. But I couldn’t do that. Especially not now. Even after you made us swap faces all that time ago to make a point.”

“You gave your life for everyone. A romantic exit. Hardly becoming of a Widow - our job was to kill, not to save. Programming can only stifle a heart so much."

"I don’t think many would have pegged you for being sentimental, but you had it in you. You used to write small cards for Rose. I had never brought it up to you - it was your grief, and I shouldn’t pry. But you did it, every year, without fail.”

“People were afraid of you. They were right to be when it came down to being a Widow. But you’re softer than that. I’m glad they got to know it, before you were gone. I’m glad - now, anyway - that you found a family outside of us. I wish you could have been around for longer.”

“We didn’t know what to do with the news. Melina was silent for days. Alexei fell to pieces. I threw my gun at Clint, which I see now was one of the least effective reactions, but things didn't make sense to me. You couldn’t be gone. I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t. It would be very you to rise from the dead. You’ve done it twice.”

“Once to make a point to me, in fact. About how it wasn’t worth it, being you. Playing the Black Widow. God forbid I listened. But… It was your birthday too, wasn’t it? And you had included that in your little lecture. Birthdays meant little for me; the Red Room had me used to not celebrating them. Knowing that you missed out pained me. Because you deserved more than that.”

“How naive of me to think that way. What is one birthday? One pathetic little day? It’s worthless in the long run, when you’re dead. Which you are. At least, they said you are. Natasha, please don’t make me beg. Please don’t do this to me."

"I miss you so fucking much.”

“I missed you before all of this. When you left us for America. We were miserable. The others got over it eventually, but I was mad at you for a  _ long _ time. Then you showed for a very short while. Not long enough, not at all.” 

“For those first few days you were here, I was furious. I hated that you’d done this to us. I knew you wouldn’t stay, and a part of me considered it would be easier to end or oust you before we got used to your company. But we--  _ I _ \-- couldn’t do it. I didn’t want you to leave again. And that was the last time you left.”

“Clint brought my gilet back. I’m wearing it. Don’t know why I’m telling you that - if you can hear me, you can probably see me. I’m going to sit down now. My head hurts.”

“We requested they bring you back to us, but your body wasn’t recovered. We made this little place for you beneath the cedar tree. There’s a little plaque and everything. Alexei made it by hand. He used the wood burning torch, and you could guess that he got burnt. A lot. We had to take him to the doctors. But the plaque is nice.”

“All my life - that I remember anyway - I’ve wanted to be you. And now you’re gone. I don’t think I want to anymore. Not because you’re dead, but because… It was never about  _ being _ you. I just wanted to impress you and the others. I wanted to be worth your notice. There is no point now.”

“I think I spent too long trying to be your rival - maintaining an act over just acting like a grown up. Now I just wish I’d showed you more… niceness. We weren’t horrible to each other, even if you once tricked me into climbing this tree and then shook the branches as I tried to climb down. You were kind enough to catch me when you made me fall.”

“Actually, now that I think about it, I bit you that day, and you punched me in the nose. We got into what we both called a minor fight, but Alexei was restraining me while you nursed a bust lip. I’m sure you liked being punched.”

“You called me a ‘hellion’ a lot, when you weren’t calling me ‘little one’. You weren’t wrong; I was a troublemaker for you fairly often. Melina called me ‘emotionally repressed’ - and now I wish I listened to her.”

“There’s so much I want to say to you, but time has run out. And even if I shout it into the void, like now, I don’t think it’s going to help. I feel I’m going on nothing but uncharacteristically blind optimism by sitting here now, speaking to a piece of wood nailed to a tree trunk.”

“Natalia. I loved you. But I could never say it. Embarrassment was part of it, but so was our line of work. We don’t get to know love, not really, and I didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment. Or for this. Black Widows have a high mortality rate. And I thought - like a child - that if I avoided taking this anywhere, it wouldn’t hurt as much if something did happen to you. Look where we are now.”

"Melina is calling me inside. Goodnight, Natalia."

**Author's Note:**

> As the tags said, this was an experimental piece. An attempt really to try and convey emotion by speech only, with no descriptors. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


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